#probably the most personal one right at this moment

[lostinlovingrevery]

Head Over Heels

Trilogy! Logan X F! Reader

Plot: You have a major crush on Logan, and decided he's too pretty to not paint

A/N: This is purely me just being a huge romantic. I also got a polaroid camera for christmas that i use to take pictures of everything so...

Warnings: None! This is pure fluff, Reader is just a huge romantic, and crushes on Logan big time. Mentions of the other X-men, taking pictures, painting?

Word Count: 1741

Golden sun rays

Dusty library books

Tall, broody, and handsome

You were observing a photo in your study at Xavier's School for the Gifted. You were a professor there, teaching classes such as mutant ethics, mutant history, and mutant biology. Anything with mutants, that was your job; and that was by day- by night, you were an X-man. You went on dangerous missions in the name of making the world better and safer for people. You were strong, intelligent, compassionate…

And a total romantic.

You loved love. Not just romantic love, but platonic love, familiar love. You loved art, religion, and politics. You found beauty in everything, even the mundane. It didn’t matter if you’ve gotten your heartbroken before, if you were ridiculed for your passion, you enjoyed life and what it had to offer. Was every day like that? No, but that’s okay, because it only made the good days sweeter.  

You carried a polaroid camera with you often. It allows you to take pictures of things whenever you want, things that strike your fancy. A pretty rose that bloomed in the garden, a sunset at the beach, Hank in his lab, Jean and Ororo painting each others nails, Scott glaring at the camera, students studying in the halls, a bird perched on the window sill, Charles in his office, a forgotten bottle of soda sitting outside-

And your most recent addition to the collection on your wall, a photo of the X-men's new-ish recruit, Logan Howlett, the big bad Wolverine. 

He arrived close to 6 months ago. To say you immediately crushed on him the moment he showed up was an understatement. Love at first sight- was probably a more accurate description of what happened. It wasn’t enough that you already thought he was extremely handsome, his lovely face with those mutton chops , that thick head of chestnut colored hair, his hazel eyes - sharp and fierce one moment - sweet and pretty the next. He had the body that you could only compare to a Greek God. 

The attitude though, when he opened his mouth, the attitude that pissed people off but only spurred you on. 

You were head over heels. Ororo teased you that you practically had heart eyes for the wild man whenever he was around.

You two quickly became friends- if you could describe it as that since Logan Howlett does still try to be a “cool guy”, acting suave and nonchalant, but you would quickly break through the barriers he’d set up. Not because of your little “crush”, but because you were a naturally welcoming person. You understood people, had the patience of a saint, and the confidence to not take shit. All perfect for dealing with the Wolverine. You saw right through him. The sarcasm and the cockiness he would sport.  As you grew to know him, your feelings turned less from a schoolgirl crush to something more serious deep in your soul, an ache to take care of him the way no one else has- the way he deserved. You felt he had the same feelings for you, the protectiveness that he had for you, the way he picked up on your habits and quirks, and how he always spoke just a bit more softly to you than he does to anyone else. Whatever was happening, was blossoming slowly- but surely.

Nonetheless, you weren’t going to rush anything. 

But, when you saw him in the library, standing near a dusty shelf lined with books no one has touched in years, he was staring out a window, arms crossed as he leaned against the wall, his expression soft and reflective, with golden rays of the evening sun highlighting his features, you thought it was one of the prettiest things you have ever seen. You could see the thoughtfulness in Logans face, a relaxed expression that is rarely spotted on the Wolverine- who normally is gruff, a frown always seemed to be permanently painted on his face. It so happened you had your camera on you, so you quickly snapped a photo- and took off before he looked in your direction, knowing that with his amplified hearing, he would have heard the click of the camera. 

The photo honestly captivated you, like a painting with the way the sun rays came in through the window. It highlights the warm color of his hair, the structure of his face, and the toned muscles of his arm. 

You used to paint all the time. It was a hobby you thoroughly enjoyed, as it relaxed you- allowing you to take in the small details, slow down, and appreciate the gentle strokes of the brush as you carefully choose the perfect color to paint onto the canvas. You’d paint the pictures you’ve taken if they had an impact on you- much like how the Polaroid of Logan was impacting you now. You hadn’t painted in a long time, the work of being a professor and an x-men left little time to enjoy the hobby that takes a lot of time.

Seeing though, as you had time now. Why not?

Digging out your old stand, and your paints and old brushes, and fortunately, you still had at least one bare canvas left, otherwise you would have likely covered one of your older paintings- which were still stuffed in the closet of your study, to use instead. An intense need to create and make something just as beautiful as Logan was in that photo.

Starting with the background, you found yourself back in your familiar style of painting, eyeing the colors of the photo. The color of the wall, the floors, and filled in the shadows and got the placement of the window juuuust right, and was just starting to work on the bookshelf that would be behind Logan. You’d been working on it for nearly an hour, your normally overactive brain had silenced itself to focus on your task.

You hadn’t noticed Logan walking in at first. He had been looking around for you and found that no one else had seen you in a while, which was odd- since you were a complete busybody- and you could be spotted easily all over the mansion. He went to your study, and found you by the window, staring intensely at a canvas before you, sitting on a chair with your legs criss-crossed. He walked up to you- not silently, only clearing his throat to announce his arrival once he was next to you.

Jumping at the sound of his voice, and turning to look at him, your hand quickly snatched the polaroid that was perched against the canvas so you can look at it for reference. Logan didn’t miss how you grabbed it, and snuck it under your thigh. He quirked a brow.

“What you working on bub?” 

“Oh…” You turned to look at the canvas, and a deep blush came across your cheeks. “Just…Painting.”

“I didn’t know you could paint.” He says, a small tone of interest in his voice, making you perk up a bit.

“I haven’t done it in awhile.” shrugging, and glancing at the canvas- and relieved you hadn’t worked on Logan's actual figure yet and suddenly very aware that you had been acting on impulse- wondering if it had been strange that you decided to just paint a picture of Logan after you secretly- but not so secretly took a picture of him earlier... “I just…got hit with inspiration I suppose.” 

“Yeah?” He glanced at it. “What are you painting?...” He observed it and you let him work the details out. “A window…that a bookshelf?” 

“Excellent observation skills Lo.”

He smirked. “You do anything specific with your paintings or just…whatever?”

“I paint things I find pretty.” You say simply tilting your head to look up at him. An expression came across his face- something you couldn’t quite gauge. 

“Oh yeah?” He says. He glanced at it again. His eyes trailed over back to you. “What's so pretty about this one?”

“You’ll have to find out.” You tittered. He quirked a brow, before looking back at the canvas. The way he kept observing it made you nervous. The gears in that beautiful head of his turning. Did he recognize it?

“Hey, you take any pictures today?” He asked with a casual tone.

Your smile faltered a bit, and you bit your lower lip, chewing on it nervously.

He’s on to you

“I took a few.” You answered- your very best to be nonchalant, but he could hear the slight waver of your voice. As he placed a hand on the back of your chair, he leaned down towards you, his chin tilted upwards but his eyes bore down at you, a small quirk of his lips. Your heart started beating faster at his close proximately, and he lowered his chin down, leaving you both nearly face to face. His eyes glanced at your lips. 

“Take any by chance in…the library?” 

You swallowed, unable to tear yourself away, as a warm heat came across your cheeks. As he got closer, unable to bring yourself to answer just then- but you felt he knew what it was. Your eyes traced over his lips, and you decided you weren’t going to hide it anymore. A smile grew across your lips, as you tilted your head up at him. Confidence filled your chest, 

“I did. Of something I thought was very pretty.” You say, looking him in the eyes. A sweet smile came across his face and he closed the space between you, softly pressing his lips to yours- a heartbeat passed, giving you a chance to pull away by some off chance he was wrong, but you eagerly returned the kiss. Turning your head softly to meet with him, your noses bumped together, and you began to giggle. Your whole self felt like butterflies as adrenaline ran through your veins at the fact that you were finally, finally, kissing him.  

You separated, and you felt like he just stole your breath; He didn’t look like he felt no different from you either. His lips, slightly parted, curved up into a smile, and brought a hand up to your chin, his thumb softly pressing to your bottom lip, as you looked up at him with bright, adoring eyes.

“You got that camera on you? I got something pretty I want to take a picture of too.”

[deadtired-highkeyenergetic]

Lonely Nights

Two uploads in one day? I'm cooking. Also inspired by @/shurisneakers grumpy x grumpy works, go check her works out they're amazing

Summary: Attending a party with the man whose whole goal in life seems to be annoying you to no end goes...not exactly as planned

You've lost count of the number of parties Natasha has dragged you to attend. You're pretty sure this is at least the tenth one in the past month, which is ten times more than the number of parties you usually attend. Then again zero times ten is still zero so you're not sure how the math adds up.

Grabbing another glass of whiskey, you stare at the golden liquid swirling around, trying to drown out the noise in the background. Parties really are far too loud for your taste, the only good thing to come out of them is the free flow alcohol that you constantly take advantage of. The drinks taste even better knowing that the tab is on a certain genius playboy billionaire and so at every party you lurk at the bar, inhaling drinks until you get hungover.

Tonight, there's a newcomer — Bucky Barnes, also known as the Winter Soldier. Turns out he's Steve's best friend who was thought dead and you have to admit, the brunette is quite the handsome man, although you'd rather die than admit it out loud. He's currently following Sam who seems to be on a mission to talk to a girl for more than a minute, and from the look on his face, quite enjoying the other's multiple failures.

You take another mouth of whiskey and look away, relishing in the way the liquid burns on the way down. Natasha has disappeared, probably to outdrink yet another poor soul, leaving you all alone at the bar counter, not that you mind. You quite like the personal space and lack of need to socialise with another human being, two things that are currently being challenged by a certain brunette you were watching not too long ago.

"Go away."

"I see you've been learning some manners." He leans over to take a glass of whiskey for himself, downing half of it in one go.

"And I see you haven't." You glare at him.

"Maybe you should introduce me to your teacher, I might just learn some manners then." He simply smiles at you.

"Hmph." You turn back to your glass. "So what are you doing here?"

"Was invited to the party by Tony." He swirls his glass before downing the remaining half. "Same as you."

"I can tell. Why are you sitting right next to me after I told you to get lost?"

"I believe you said 'go away', not 'get lost'."

"Same thing." You pinch the bridge of your nose. He was getting on your nerves as always, you sometimes swore he saved all his cheek for you and you alone.

"Nope it isn't. One is asking me to simply leave, the other is asking me to lose all sense of direction —"

"Okay Mr Dictionary, didn't ask you for the difference between 'away' and 'lost'. Why are you still seated next to me?" You grab another glass from a passing waiter and immediately inhale one third of it.

"I'm tired and want to sit down." Bucky shrugs.

"There's plenty of other seats out there." You gesture to where the crowd is.

"Here seemed the most comfy, although the company it offers could use some work." He smirks, biting back an amused huff when you roll your eyes.

"Then go and find company elsewhere."

"But you'll be lonely. As a gentleman, I cannot stand by and let a lovely person such as yourself spend the night alone." He dramatically places a hand over his heart.

"Since when were you a gentleman?" You snort, knocking back more alcohol. You were going to need more if this bastard insisted on spending the rest of the night with you.

"Since the moment I saw you sitting here alone."

"How chivalrous. You want a lordship or something?"

He laughs, reaching over the counter and pulling out a bottle of vodka. "If only you could grant me one."

"Dunno. Could try pulling some strings or something, haven't tried granting anyone a lordship before. First time for everything, am I right?" You toss a bottle opener his way and he catches it, raising an eyebrow.

"Do you have this on you at all times?"

"Swiped it from the waiter just now. Was going to open one myself but since you've already taken one you might as well share. Sharing is caring, right?" You wave a hand.

"Then sharing this bottle would imply I care for you." He pops the cap open and starts chugging.

"Hey! I provided the bottle opener! I deserve some!" You yelp, rising from your seat. He easily dodges your attempts to grab the bottle from him and grins, waving it just out of your reach. Growling, you leap onto the counter and dash along it, successfully swiping the bottle from his surprisingly loose grip. Hopping back down, you gleefully wave the bottle before chugging the remaining liquid inside, letting out a satisfied sigh when not a drop is left.

"I win!" You cheer, laughing. All that alcohol is making you giddy and you lean a little too far backwards, stumbling towards the counter but before you can hit anything, a pair of arms wrap themselves around you, stopping your fall.

"Can't have you dying before granting me that lordship." Bucky grunts, placing you back onto your seat. You try to shove his arms off, making a face when he refuses to let go before resuming your scowl and crossing your arms.

"I'm not dying before you," you huff, annoyed. More importantly, you weren't about to die from a fall when you've survived aliens, gods, superhumans and everything in between.

"Congratulations on surviving purely out of spite all this while. Would you also like a gold medal?" Sarcasm drips heavily from his words.

"I'll take one." You don't miss a beat, even when tipsy. Bucky would admire that, really he would, unfortunately he's on the receiving end of your sass so it's already less admirable because of that. At least him being here means you won't be meeting your end via counters, he would miss all that wit and sarcasm if that were to happen. After laughing at your cause of death.

"Unfortunately I don't have one right now. Mind waiting for a bit, doll?" His lips quirk upwards ever so slightly.

"A gentleman making someone wait? What kind of gentleman are you?" You lift another snagged bottle to your lips, taking a swig.

"One that knows you're caring enough to share that bottle with me." He easily wrestles the half-drunk bottle from you, chugging the rest while keeping you at arms length with his forearm pressed against your chest. "Thank you for your generosity."

"You're not welcome!" You huff, futilely hitting his arm in an attempt to close the gap. He grins, turning the bottle upside down to show you there's not a drop left.

"Asshole." You scowl, gripping his arm tightly.

"My pleasure." His smirk is infuriating and with the alcohol clouding your mind, the moment he drops his arm you close the distance, wiping the smirk off his face with a kiss. Your lips connect and his eyes widen, but he kisses back, his metal arm snaking around your waist while his flesh one pulls you closer so that he can devour you.

Bucky's lips taste of vodka, whiskey and whatever else he drank before being your nuisance and it tastes good. You breathlessly pull away, cheeks flushed and grab a breath before diving back for another round.

"You're a pathetic kisser," you gasp after pulling away for air again.

"And still you want more." He licks his lips, ice blue eyes shining with mirth. "What does that say about you?"

"That I'm going to need to teach you how to kiss."

"Then teach me." He lifts your chin up. "The night's still young."

"Step one: shut up." Your lips crash into his again and he shuts up, savouring the kiss.

"Step two: don't stop." He murmurs, threading his fingers through your hair.

"Step three: eyes on me, only me." You press your forehead against his, feeling his warmth. "Took you forever to kiss me."

"You're the one who took forever, I was always open to it."

"Asshole."

"Idiot."

"You just asked an idiot to be your teacher."

"I don't mind this idiot being my teacher." His thumb runs over your bottom lip. "After all, this idiot is my idiot."

"Hate you."

"Love you too."

[im-so-normal-iswear]

Imagine Yandere Sonic with a reader who’s very motherly towards Tails :3 because even though he’s a Yandere that’s still his little guy !! He raised him !! And now his love wants to help !!

A/n: this took a while

Yandere sonic x reader motherly towards tails

You didn’t expect to find yourself so attached to a little fox with two tails, but Miles (tails as Sonic and pretty much everyone else called him) had wormed his way into your heart.

From the moment you met him, you saw the brilliant kid who was so eager to impress his older brother. Sonic had told you plenty about Tails, practically beaming whenever he talked about the little fox’s inventions or plans that saved the whole team numerous times. Seeing Sonic so proud of someone was endearing, but meeting Tails for yourself had sealed the deal.

Tails was a sweetheart, and you adored him almost immediately.

The first time you saw him, he had been tinkering with one of his many gadgets in his workshop. His fur was messy, and he had goggles that sat crooked on his head.

"You're Tails, right?" you had asked, kneeling down to his height. "Sonic’s told me so much about you."

His ears perked up. "What'd he say?"

"He said you’re the smartest, most resourceful guy he knows. I mean, I’m looking at all this" you gestured to the various gadgets scattered around. "and I’m already impressed."

From that moment, you’d made it your mission to look out for him. Sure, Sonic was protective of Tails, but you couldn’t help wanting to mother the poor fox. He was still a kid, after all, and while he had Sonic to guide him, you felt that he needed someone to dote on him, to remind him to take breaks and eat properly when he got too caught up in his work.

Sonic noticed your attachment to Tails almost immediately, and it struck a chord deep within him.

You loved Tails.

His Tails.

Watching the two of you interact pulled on his heart strings.

In Sonic’s mind, this was perfect. You didn’t just care about him, you cared about the person he cared about most. It solidified the idea that you were meant to be part of his little "family." After all, you didn’t just love him, you loved both of them.

But that also came with complications.

While Sonic was thrilled that you cared for Tails, it also ignited a possessive streak in him that was hard to control. He had always been protective of Tails, almost to a fault, and seeing you step into that role stirred something in him.

On the surface, he was supportive, even encouraging you to spend time with Tails. But underneath, his obsession simmered.

What if Tails started to love you more than he loved Sonic? What if you started to love Tails more than you loved him?

The thought made him feel sick, and he hated himself for it. Tails was his little guy, he practically raised him, taught him everything he knew. But you were his, and sometimes, Sonic couldn’t shake the feeling that Tails was stealing bits and pieces of your attention that belonged to him.

Still, he kept those thoughts buried deep. For the most part, he let you mother Tails, but not without inserting himself at every opportunity.

One afternoon, you had brought Tails a basket of sandwiches and snacks, knowing he’d probably been up in his workshop for hours without eating. Sonic had tagged along, of course, watching from a distance as you fussed over the young fox.

"Tails, you’ve got to eat something," you said, placing the basket on the workbench. "You can’t run on fumes."

Tails looked up from his latest project, blinking in surprise. "Oh, I guess I forgot, my bad..."

You gave him a gentle smile and pushed the basket toward him. "That’s what I’m here for. Now, take a break, okay? Your inventions can wait a few minutes."

Sonic leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed as he watched the scene unfold. His heart swelled at how caring you were, but there was a fleeting flicker of jealousy he couldn’t ignore.

When Tails finally relented and started eating, you ruffled his fur affectionately. "Good. See? Doesn't that feel better?"

Sonic's chest tightened. That should be me, he thought. I should be the one getting all their attention.

But instead of saying anything, he strolled into the workshop, putting on his usual confident grin.

"Hey, little buddy! Whatcha working on?" he asked, his tone light but his gaze flickering to you briefly.

Tails perked up. "Oh, trying to find a more efficient wnergy source for one of my planes!"

"Sweet! You’re gonna be flying circles around everyone." Sonic gave Tails a thumbs up, ruffling his head.

As the weeks went by, your bond with Tails only grew stronger, and so did Sonic’s obsession. He started orchestrating ways to keep you closer, using Tails as an excuse whenever he could.

"Hey, Tails is working on something dangerous. You should come keep an eye on him," hed say, even if Tails was just fixing something harmless.

Or, "Tails could use some help organizing his workshop. You’re so good at that stuff."

It wasn’t always subtle, but you didn’t question it. You were happy to help, and Sonic was happy to have you around.

Still, his possessiveness began to show in little ways. He would hover whenever you were with Tails, always inserting himself into conversations or finding excuses to touch you, a hand on your shoulder, an arm slung around your waist. If Tails noticed, he didn’t say anything, but you couldn’t ignore the way Sonic’s grip tightened whenever you paid more attention to Tails than to him.

One evening, after you had spent the entire day helping Tails with a new project, Sonic finally snapped.

"Y'know" he said casually as the two of you walked home "you're pretty good with Tails. Almost too good."

You raised an eyebrow, sensing the edge in his voice. "What’s that supposed to mean?"

Sonic stopped walking and turned to face you, his usual playful demeanor replaced entirely.

"I mean, you spend a lot of time with him," he said, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Not that I’m complaining, but... don’t forget about me, okay?"

You blinked, taken aback. "Sonic, I could never forget about you. You know that."

He stepped closer. "Do I? Sometimes it feels like you’re more interested in Tails than in me."

"That's not true," you said firmly. "I care about both of you."

"But you care about me more, right?"

"Right..?"

[everdeensworld]

can i get finnick x pregnant! rrader fluff 🥺 weather it’s their first kid or not is up to you i just think its so cute to imagine him doting on ur every move 😭😭

a/n; i decided to do head cannons because i couldn’t for the life of me come up with a plot

i think finnick is a girl dad and a boy dad, he’s both, he’d be happy to play football, trucks and stereotypical boy things, and a moment later dress up in an fairy costume and paint his nails and lift his pinky for a tea party.

for your first pregnancy i think he’d buy baby a shit ton of books like ‘what to expect when you’re expecting’

then he’d pull up with like eleven types of fruits and claim they help “strengthen the babies fingernails” or some other old wives tale.

he would 100% talk to your stomach even before your baby can recognise sounds, i don’t think he’d sing to the baby, not while you were awake anyway.

“hello little one, this is your daddy speaking, your ma is really mad at me right now, do you think you can convince her to forgive me please.”

and well, how could you not forgive him, he’s looking up at you with his beautiful eyes.

i definitely do think there’d be a few times that you and him get into arguments, because let’s face it, nobody is perfect, and pregnancy can be a stressful time.

both of you would absolutely grovel, and feel so guilty depending on who started it, and would make up pretty quickly with a tough conversation on what upset the other person because communication is key!

i like to believe that he’d tell his friends in the goofiest way possible, by making one of them (probably johanna) get a literal bun out of the oven and she’d be like wtf is this doing in here and it would take them a little while

katniss would be the first to get it.

she’d gasp, and everyone looks at her as if she’s insane and she wouldn’t tell them at first until she does and then it clicks, a bun, in the oven.

one day you’d both be chilling watching the television, maybe you’re sitting with your feet on his lap when you sit up and gasp, at first he’s worried, checking for any sings of pain or danger but your face lights up.

“the baby is kicking!” you grin at him, and he’s immediately filling up. “can i feel..?”

why do i lowkey feel like he’d buy matching outfits for you all for when the baby is born.

coming up to your due date any noise that sounds like discomfort or pain he’s at his feet, have you ever played sims and seen the pre-parental panic emote, i imagine him like that 😭

he definitely repacks the bag all the time in the days leading up to your due date, and keeps adding more things to the point you have to tell him;

“finnick we do not need that much stuff!”

for most women, their first baby isn’t usually early, so you keep reminding him that your baby will probably be late but he can’t help but worry.

i definitely think the words “you’ll be such a great dad.” is told to him a lot by the people around him, cause let’s face it, he definitely would be, but every time it brings tears to his eyes.

he’d be amazing during labour, a total star, i think he’d be in the birthing pool with you, forcing you to squeeze his hand, and feeding you your favourite snack.

once the baby is born he’s shedding tears, as are you, rubbing your forehead and saying words of encouragement.

“you did so good baby, so good, our baby is perfect.”

all in all, finnick is the dream man, and would have been such an amazing father.

[max1461]

One thing I will say, now that I've had direct experience with my mental meat severely malfunctioning: drugs are broad-spectrum, and personal exercise of... I won't say "virtue", but choice, can be targeted. I'm not saying that drug addicts can just choose not to be addicted or something, I'm not that naive. What I'm saying is: what are the full mental knock-on affects of dampening one's cravings? If opiate addiction is ruining your life this might be the least of your concerns, but if you're conceptualizing these GLP-1 agonists or any putatively similar drugs as some kind of general purpose "self-control booster", this is might be something you want to think about.

I often get a craving-like-feeling to do math, I'll have this moment where I'm like "you know what would be good right now? One of those group theory problems where you have the orders of a bunch subgroups and you have to deduce the order of the group" and then I'll go look for one online or whatever and solve it. This is, in fact, one of my more consistent motivators to do math, and if those cravings were less frequent I would probably know a lot less. A core part of romantic attraction for me is a craving-like-feeling for my partner; not just in a brute sexual sense but in a more abstract one. To have that lessened would be, from my perspective, essentially my capacity for romantic love being dampened along one of its axes. Would I want that?

When I was a kid, I played a lot of video games. Sometimes I'd play for hours a day. And I really cared about the medium; at that point in my life my ambition was to become a video game designer. When I turned about 16, I abruptly lost the immediate-term desire to actually play video games. I still cared about the medium just as much, I still had lots of thoughts on games and game design, but in a moment-to-moment sense actually playing games was no longer something I wanted to do very often. It ceased to be something I desired in a raw hedonistic sense. It was work. I would sit down to play a game because I was interested in it intellectually, but after 20 minutes I'd get burned out and have to stop. This shift probably altered the course of my life in a huge way—it reshaped something fundamentally about who I was and who I was becoming. I still care a lot about games as a medium, and I'm not in any way torn up that I didn't go down the path of trying to become a game designer. But it does disappoint me sometimes that I can't have anything like the relationship to games that I used to, because my brain has decided they aren't "fun" in that purely hedonic sense anymore.

Actually, this was part of a larger shift in my personality that occurred when I was a teenager, in which I became fairly anhedonic in most areas of life, and as a result shifted away from most simplistically pleasurable activities and towards endeavors that provided a more diffuse, harder to quantify form of gratification. Not because I'm virtuous—but because I'm meat, and the simplistic sources of gratification largely stopped working!

What I'm trying to articulate is something like... yeah, you're made of meat, which means in particular: you are made of meat. When you take a drug that alters your meat, there is a sense in which you become somebody else. And this also happens all the time for reasons you don't control. But that doesn't mean it's good or acceptable in the general case. Sometimes, often, it's bad! Or it's good and bad in ways that are hard to tally. The brain is complex, and, like I said, medications are broad-spectrum. They don't differentiate between the neurons that make you crave a burger and the neurons that make you love your wife, they modulate all the neurotransmitters the same. Actually the bodybuilder Mike Israetel specifically says in an interview somewhere that when he's on steroids, he loves his wife less. It's just physiological. And I believe him.

In the past few months I've had to take lamotrigine for seizures. Lamotrigine is also a mood stabilizer. I don't need my mood stabilized, in fact I rather like my usual array of moods. One of the things lamotrigine evidently does is induce a positive bias in processing of faces—response to angry and fearful faces is lessened, while response to happy faces is unaffected. Sounds great, right? But the visceral response to fearful faces is an important component of affective empathy. You don't want to hurt someone, in part it seems, because your brain has a visceral reaction to the real or imagined sight of their face in fear. Scores on the psychopathy checklist correlate with impaired ability to discern fearful faces, but no comparable impaired ability to discern faces displaying positive emotions. If you can't internalize someone else's fear or sadness, you can't empathize. I know that I don't feel like myself on lamotrigine. Now this is not to be taken as at all scientific; I've got a lot of weird brain stuff going on right now and I don't feel like myself anyway. But in any case, lamotrigine is meant to be one of the seizure medications with the fewest cognitive side effects.

You are made of matter, and messing around with the matter that makes you up can change you in unknown and unpredictable ways. Me growing up to become a linguist instead of a game designer, that reflects a really complex and multi-faceted shift in who I am and how I used my time. And it was brought on by all kinds of things, all sorts of personal development over the years, but a load-bearing component was probably the simple down-modulation of an impulse, a loss of simple hedonistic capacity that caused me to search out radically new uses of my time in my teen years. That shift was endogenous, but certainly a drug could have done it. So my point I guess is that no drug is... what word am I looking for, "apolitical"? That's not what I mean. But I'm saying something conceptually similar to what people often mean when they say no technology is apolitical. Except instead of the body politic I'm talking about the body itself, the body and mind. Uh. If you take a drug to "increase your willpower", it might turn out that you become someone you wouldn't have chosen to become, in ways you never even considered. You might be fine with that or you might not. But it's not so simple as taking the person-you-are and turning up a willpower knob, it's never that simple. I think a sort of techno-pessimism towards this notion of a miracle drug is very warranted.

Last week's WITH was about the pursuit of treatments that might do for addiction what GLP-1 agonists do for cravings for food, and the guest had an interesting point about how you can have phenomena with very complex causes (the main examples here being opiate addiction and the general rise in obesity) that do not require you to untangle or address those causes in order to procure solutions. Like, is addiction a disease, a social ill, a product of trauma, a failure of willpower, or all of these things?

It doesn't necessarily matter! It turns out that "craving stuff" is a pretty basic neurological feedback loop and it may be tractable to pharmaceutical intervention. Heck, GLP-1 agonists may be that intervention: people have reported (and clinical trials are being conducted to study) that these drugs, among their many effects, simply blunt cravings, to the point where people have as a side effect of taking them for diabetes or weight loss also found they helped cut down on drinking, or gambling, or using other drugs.

So even if GLP-1 agonists don't have all the miraculous effects reported (there are some reports they may be effective as an Alzheimer's treatment!), it would be crazy if we have discovered a drug that allows us to better marshal our faculties to decide which cravings to give in to, a drug that simply imbues us with self-control. And I think that's really interesting, because it's an outright clash between two ways of seeing the world: a moralistic one in which virtues are the product of individual decisions, and in which taking a drug to achieve some outcome that "ought" to be a product of virtue might be seen as cheating, and one that reminds us that, for better or worse, we are meat, and all our complex behaviors arise as the result of the state of the meat that we are--and from which view, refusing to acknowledge the mutability of your meat in aid of achieving your goals, or even broader social benefit (addiction is really bad and there very few good options to treat it), is simply goofy.

But a lot of people's reaction to the existence of GLP-1 agonists--or for that matter any medical intervention for things which are moralized as willpower problems--includes contempt founded on being wedded to that moralizing framework. I think a lot of moralism develops as a response to conditions of existence being imposed on us that are objectively pretty miserable, and that when we discover the occasional intervention that liberates us from that pretty restrictive framework, our attitude should be one of jubilation: hear, O ye people, that what was long believed to be an implacable trade-off of human existence is no more. But I think a lot of people's reaction is to double down: I had to suffer, or someone I know had to suffer, therefore you ought to suffer as well, or else our suffering has no meaning.

[feral4fiktion]

I just have so many thoughts about this date, I need to expel them.

1. He CAN'T "Just try it". You even say in a later option he can't eat. Also, he's smelled coffee before. We know this bc he always says LUCANIS smells like coffee. Which leads to point 2.

2. The sheer disappointment in his voice that Lucanis got him something he's been smelling on a daily basis for weeks already KILLS me every time, but in a funny way. He's not MAD, just disappointed bc he probably thought he was getting out to try something new, just to get more of the same, but hey...he's out so it's not worth a fight. Leading to point 3

3. This shows so much growth for Spite that he's not trying to be Spiteful that Lucanis didn't get him something/do something he wanted. If this had happened right after the Ossuary Spite would be spilling the cup /screaming in his ear that this isn't what he wants. I could go on and on about how sweet his "character growth is" especially how it's tied directly to his human counterpart.

4. This is the first time outside of the Lighthouse Lucanis isn't wearing armor. He's grown a trust in the Crows of his city to protect their First Talon, whether bc of being First Talon or bc he has learned to trust others bc of Rook or the Veilguard.

5. As sweet as the whole conversation is, I'm sorry, but the way he hovers over Rook at the end creeps me out every time, and I hate that's the last real moment I get of him in game besides his comments before the final battle. Like he's been great so far, I expected like a hand hold or at most a knuckle-kiss. Instead he got up to hover...just felt awkward to me. Which leads to 6.

6. IM SO HAPPY HE DOESNT GO OVERVOARD ON PDA. I know it's controversial, but even without armor on Lucanis Dellamorte is a guarded person who's barely come to grips with being in a relationship after dreaming of one for years. Throw in the demisexuality, and like I mentioned before, a quick hand-kiss feels like the most intimate thing he COULD EVER DO in public. And that's beautiful to me. Cuz that felt like they really thought out his character (which i already knew they did).

Just some thoughts I've needed to put somewhere. Might flesh out or edit later.

[stollengoods]

Chapter 3

It’s Not Me, It’s You

Myung-gi x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Cursing & smut

Summary: You have a little more fun than you expected with Nam-gyu.

————

You smiled for the first time while being in this place when Nam-gyu agreed to your plan. “Just follow my lead.” You told him as you grabbed his hand and made your way to one of the guards.

“We need the bathroom.” You told the guard and even though they wore a mask over their face, you felt them judging you. But none the less the guard led you out the door, up the stairs and didn’t ask any questions when Nam-gyu followed you into the women’s bathroom.

Nam-gyu shut and locked the door behind you guys. You propped yourself up on the sink, giggling. Nam-gyu stood to the side of you, his shoulder leaning up against the wall, facing you with his arms crossed.

“What’s so funny ?” He raised an eyebrow at you.

You bit your lip in excitement, “I can only imagine what’s going through his mind right now.” You turned to face him, “You’re a guy, you would probably know, what is Myung-gi thinking right now ?”

That made Nam-gyu smirk, “He thinks we’re fucking.”

“You think so ?”

He uncrossed his arms and moved closer to you, now hovering over you. “I know so.”

Originally you didn’t find Nam-gyu attractive but his personality and the way that he carries himself has you thinking other wise. You looked up at him, his eyes poring into yours and then you made the mistake of glancing down at his lips.

He crashed his lips into yours and you instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you. He moved in front of you in between your legs, running his hands up your shirt and feeling your breasts over your bra.

You threw your head back as Nam-gyu sucked on your neck, a loud moan escaping your lips, “This wasn’t apart of the plan, was it ?” He breathed against your neck.

“Fuck the plan.” You murmured.

One of his hands went under your waist band and he started fondling you. Your hand held onto his shoulder for support as you grinded against the palm of his hand.

He pulled your underwear to the side just enough to insert two fingers inside of you. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as your hand clutched his jacket. He leaned in re-attaching your lips together as his fingers worked their magic on you. Not only did his fingers reach your g-spot but his rings added an extra layer of pleasure as they entered and exited your pussy.

You both jumped at a loud banging sound coming from outside the door. “Both of you need to exit the bathroom in one minute, the first game is about to began.”

You both forgot that there was someone outside the door; who could most likely hear what was going on and looked at each other smiling trying not to laugh.

Nam-gyu was the first one to pull away, “We’ll finish this later.” He teased, winking at you.

You followed him out the door, no doubt your face a bit flustered about what had just gone down moments earlier.

You were probably being paranoid but if you felt like the guard was judging you before… you felt your face grow hot even more as you can only imagine what the pink guard had heard. You shook your head, clearing your thoughts as the guard led you guys from the stairs into the common area again.

————

(A/N): I think this is the softest I’ve ever wrote Nam-gyu as and I’m kind of here for it ngl~ He doesn’t have to be a menace all the time lol

[leighlew3]

So...

I know a lot of people out there are feeling lost, helpless, hopeless, and especially perhaps the younger crowd wonders: what now? As someone who has taken hit after hit after hit of trauma, abuse, homelessness, suffering, struggle, loss, illness, etc in my life that at times seems never ending... dealing with perpetual trauma and finding hope in the face of devastation is uhhh sorta my specialty.

*dorky wink and finger guns*

So, first of all on my end let me explain my plans, and then get into the 'why' and what else I plan to do and how I think we all need to tackle these coming days, weeks, months and sadly -- years.

For mental health reasons on the heels of still struggling with my grief and what sadly has become chronic health issues, I'm probably going to spend the foreseeable future hyper-focused on writing, fictional ships, planning my next tattoo, the WNBA free agency, the end of the current NFL season, and doing everything humanly possible to boost my immune system for what will inevitably be the next pandemic/plague that this administration will laugh at as Americans drop dead again because "sCiEncE iSnT rEaL".

And I advise others to find what will help them survive as well.

Here's the thing though: "give up" is not in my DNA. Nor is burying my head and hiding out away from "anything negative", because that's a hella privileged position to take, and I'm not about that life.

So, I will be signing all the petitions possible, making calls to reps who actually have proven they care, protesting when possible, sharing important info on social media, volunteering, etc as well.

Which brings me to the point here: don't give up. Do what you can. But also... recognize your humanity and limitations whether they be financial, physical, psychological or otherwise. Because sacrificing your own sanity and health isn't going to help anybody. And then we're down one less soldier in this battle for the greater good.

IF there's another election in four years (never in my lifetime did I think that would even be a question), we will have a lot of rebuilding to do regarding lost progress. We need to be ready.

In the meantime, dive into something productive and/or comforting for your own life that keeps you fulfilled but also be ready and willing to do what you can help those around you, at key moments. It's that whole "put on your oxygen mask first when the plane is going down" thing. You can't help a damn soul if you can't even breathe.

Be kind to the people you love. Tell them you love them daily. Connect with like-minded individuals. Protect and defend our most vulnerable wherever possible (the disabled, marginalized communities, fellow women/girls, etc). Hug your pets and if you don't have any, consider adopting a rescue.

Vote in the 2026 midterms. Volunteer at or donate to your local women's shelters, homeless shelters, racial justice organizations, LGBTQ+ organizations, animal rescues, environmental organizations, nursing homes for the elderly, etc.

We have to find the balance between self-care for ourselves and making our own lives tolerable amidst this bs, especially any of us who belong to one or more of the above groups -- while also plugging in to help others and the community as a whole, as needed.

And trust me, it will be needed. More than ever.

You're not alone. Even if IRL you feel like you're the only person in your family or circle who hasn't 'drank the Kool Aid' and lost all sense of reason or basic human empathy.

If you're reading this right now -- please take a second to take some deep breaths, step away, and start setting both short-term and long-term goals for yourself and your life that will help you moving forward so you can continue to fight for yourself, and for us all.

Please remember, we're in this together.

I'm with you. 💜

[sunsetsover]

i know i'm late to the party and most of these points have probably been touched on already, but i said i would make a post about why kant safewording in episode 8 was so impactful and i am nothing if not a man of my word so here we are

(under the cut bc this got completely out of hand)

tbh i feel like i could write 10,000 words and i still wouldn't be able to fully articulate the way it completely turned me inside out when i first watched the ep, but i still wanted to pull this scene apart anyway bc as i said at the time, there were (and perhaps still are) people who think kant safewording in that moment was silly or out of place or whatever, and so for my own sanity i need to list all the reasons it was not only not stupid, but actually incredibly powerful for both kant and bison's characters and their relationship overall

bc think about the context. think about how shy bison had been when he had introduced the idea of a bdsm dynamic to kant, how he had admitted it's something he had wanted for a long time but never had the opportunity to actually have that with anyone. think about how reluctant he had been to actually hurt kant, and how enthusiastic and happy he was when kant told him he was into it too. how careful he was with kant, how thorough he was about consent (excluding the scene in his bedroom obv, considering he was drugged and couldn't consent nor dom properly). how insistent he was that they have a safeword despite kant's dismissiveness bc he knows how important it is that they're safe, and that they trust each other completely. to have it and to use it.

and then think about how gutting it must have been thinking about all of that in the context of a lie. a complete farce. this thing that bison wanted so badly, a thing he was so happy to finally have w someone, to trust someone with that part of him after a lifetime of keeping it inside. think about how vulnerable and exposed bison must have felt in the wake of that realisation, esp considering he doesn't have really any experience actually domming someone fr. how used he must have felt, knowing that this really deep and personal desire had been used as nothing more than a tool to manipulate you by someone you thought you were developing a genuine bond with. kant betraying bison is one thing - imo, it was the sheer depths that kant had seemingly gone to just to use him that was what really hurt bison (which in turn made him angry). like think abt it from bison's pov: why would kant make a point to project the northern lights all over the walls for him, sit and make all these plans together so that bison's dream come true? and why the hell would he go so far as to let bison dom him when bison had tried so hard to basically talk him out of it? that's not just betrayal. it's sadistic and it's cruel. it's like kant didn't just want bison arrested, but also to break him from within.

so that's the context. keep all of that in mind. and then think about kant, tied down, completely at bison's mercy. following bison's every instruction. taking all his abuse. and then think about him safewording. he could have said anything, could have done anything. but he chose to safeword. why? why that word? why right then?

well. the use of a safeword is obvious right? it's someone's way of telling their partner 'that's enough, i don't like this anymore'. and that is the very surface level of what kant was saying by safewording. but obv the context is very, very different here. and i think it goes back to the conversation that they had when they agreed on the safeword in ep 3: kant doesn't understand then the importance of what a safeword is and what it represents. he thinks he can just tell bison to stop and that he will, and bison is obviously like 'well no, that's not how it works'. he basically says to him 'how am i supposed to know you're not still enjoying it? how will i know you actually want me to stop? what if i get confused and hurt you more?' and kant says he gets it, and to a degree he obviously does, but i don't think he got the depth of what a safeword represented until it was tumbling out of his mouth on that beach.

bc as i said, a safeword is about trust. it's about two people (or more! but we're just talking abt these 2 rn) trusting the other that if this word is said, then everything stops. no ifs ands or buts. the sub obviously has to trust that the dom will stop if they safeword, but it's just as important that the dom trusts that the sub will safeword if they're unhappy with whatever's going on. the dom has to trust that the sub trusts them.

and so kant safewords. and yes he's saying 'i don't like this anymore, i want to stop'. but he's also saying 'i paid attention, i listened, i remembered. i know you meant it and i meant it too. what you told me was important to me. i value what is important to you. i didn't just dismiss it, i didn't just dismiss you. this was never just a tool. it was never fake to me. i never used this against you. i really am telling you the truth and here's the proof.' (which, for the record, is also what he was saying before the safeword when he was like 'i know you've never trusted anyone before, i still haven't forgotten our plans, i still want to go to iceland together' - it's all reassurance that he hasn't forgotten and that it wasn't fake, that he meant all of it and it's all important to him too). and he's also - maybe even more importantly - saying 'i trust you. i trust you to stop because i'm telling you stop. if you will listen to nothing else i say, i trust you to listen to this. i'm trusting you because this is important to you, and it's important to me. i trust you to keep me safe. i trust that that if i say this word, you won't hurt me anymore.'

which is exactly why one of the first things bison says to kant afterwards on the beach is 'you think i can't kill you, don't you?' because he knows. he knows exactly what kant using that word meant, what he was saying. it's why he froze, why he was so thoroughly devastated, why he briefly lost his shit then completely fell apart afterwards - because even though it was just one word, he heard everything behind that word, and what was underpinning all of it, which was basically kant saying this isn't over for me yet. i'm still in this relationship with you. i'm still yours and you're still mine. i still trust you. and though you might not trust me right now, i know you'll trust this.

(and that's also why he repeats it so many times imo. by saying it over and over, he's proving that it isn't just a desperate or panicked plea to get himself out of that situation - he says it again and again, making a point to look bison right in the eye each time, bc that's acknowledgement that he's well aware of what he's doing and saying by using their safeword, and he wants bison to know that too: this isn't an accident, this isn't a mistake, this isn't a last ditch effort to live. i'm saying this on purpose, because i know what it means for you and me both.)

which yeah, is kind of a kick in the guts if you're bison. he knew he couldn't hurt kant. he knew he wasn't angry the way he was pretending to be angry, because the hurt was just too visceral (which i'll expound on in a second). and here was kant basically sticking his fingers in a fresh wound. here was this man he shouldn't trust at all, telling bison that despite who bison was and after all things bison had done to him (deserved or not is irrelevant here), he still loves him - not just with words but proving it in a very tangible way. a way that was theirs and theirs alone.

that was what gutted me on my initial watch. i obviously didn't think about all of it consciously in that moment, but i still knew it was there. i still felt it, the same way bison did. kant safewording in that moment was never just about him saying 'stop, i don't like this, please stop hurting me' and bison knew it, which is why he reacted so strongly to it (and why i did too lmfao)

so that was my initial thoughts, but liz @ropebunnykant brought up a really interesting point that i hadn't considered at first which is that kant was also safewording for bison's sake. which, while it hadn't been my first thought, definitely wasn't the first time i've heard of something like that happening either - a sub safewording, not bc they necessarily need to, but bc they've noticed that their dom isn't enjoying it/isn't in the right headspace to continue etc. and when i went back i could see it so clearly, esp as kant started to repeat it.

bc what happens immediately before the safeword use? kant pushes, and bison says shut up. kant continues pushing, and bison keeps telling him to shut up. the back and forth of bison and kant's safeword discussion is once again so important to the context here - kant asking if he can just say bison's name to stop him, and bison telling him no, that they need a way to differentiate when 'stop' is just a word and when it's genuinely meant.

bison telling kant to shut up was his stop. and kant pushed, because he didn't realise it straight away, because he had so much to say and for the first time bison was listening, because sometimes stop doesn't mean stop. but at some point kant realised that this stop did. and what did bison teach him to do when he really needs to stop?

and so kant safewords.

i do think kant could have kept playing that game for as long as he needed to. as long as bison was angry, kant would have stayed chained up like a dog. he didn't have to - he proved he could easily get out of his restraints in their very next scene. he could have asked the caretaker to help him get away. but he didn't. he chose to stay. maybe he wasn't on the boat, but at that point kant was a willing participant in what was happening, he was consenting. why? bc kant deserved punishment. bc bison deserves to punish him. bc to him staying there is it's own kind of proof. bc if bison's angry then he's still talking, and if he's talking there's hope. apathy is what was going to kill kant and he knew it - if bison's angry, that means he still cares.

but then we get that shot of kant's pov, of bison staring down w the gun pointed at him, barrel shaking, tears in his eyes. and it's not fun anymore. neither of them are gaining anything from this. bison's anger has finally given way to hurt, to heartbreak - kant knows in that moment that bison isn't getting any kind of satisfaction out of making kant squirm, and likely never was. which literally goes back to the core of a dom/sub relationship, doesn't it? you engage in that kind of dynamic bc both parties are getting something out of it. kant was getting the flagellation he thought he deserved after what he'd done to bison, the punishment he wanted (and to a degree needed) as payment for his wrongdoing and the sense of absolution that provided him. bison got the satisfaction of providing that punishment, of letting out that anger, of making kant hurt for what he did - or so kant thought. bc the reality is that bison wasn't getting any satisfaction out of punishing kant. no matter what he said or did, no matter how he hurt or degraded him, none of it made him feel better. and kant hadn't noticed that until that moment (which i think he can be forgiven for, given everything that he was going through). but then he does notice.

bison wasn't getting anything out of the hurt he was inflicting, and was inflicting pain upon himself in the process. and if one of them is not getting anything out of it - if one of them is actively hurting themselves in a way that doesn't feel good - then they need to stop. someone needs to safeword. kant knows this. and so he safewords - not so bison doesn't kill him, as some people have said, but to stop bison from hurting himself any further.

and so kant safewords immediately. retracts the consent that perhaps bison hadn't even realise he'd given willingly. he ends the game. he uses his safeword just like bison taught him to, bc it matters and he trusts him and he loves him. that hasn't changed, not even like this. and he repeats it so many times for that very reason.

and believe it or not, i feel like there is still so much more to it i could pick apart even beyond this. bc god there are just so many layers!!!! like there's fear in it too, bc as much as kant is unconcerned abt the gun and is sure that bison won't hurt him, he's still human. some degree of fear is normal. i also think kant sensed an opening in bison's defenses that he wanted to get at just so that bison would just listen to him - bison wasn't really in the headspace to listen to anything before then, which is exactly why kant hadn't really tried to explain himself properly. it would've been pointless. and as much as he loves bison, kant is still kant - he still knows how to work people. i also think kant was tired and hungry and emotionally exhausted and while i do think he would've played along for as long as he had to, i think he also needed bison's anger and attention to fuel him. faced w nothing but his sadness, he lost all steam. kant's own sadness and overall feeling shitty probably hit him full force in that moment too, and he didn't have the strength not to fold under it. and so he safeworded.

however, if i start picking apart all of that i really will end up writing 10,000 words and no one really wants that, least of all me. but the point that i really want to make is that kant safewording in that moment was never really abt him not wanting to die. it was about care and it was about trust. it was about acknowledgement. most of all it was about love. and we'd all be doing the story and these characters a disservice to simply go 'hehe he safeworded out of murder' while not also addressing what it really was! which was kant acknowledging their bond, showing bison care in the only way he could while telling him he loves and trusts him all at once!! it was him claiming ownership of the ownership bison has of him!! he said penguin bc there was literally nothing else he could have possibly said in that moment that would have had the depth and significance than that one little word did!!! he said more with that one word than he could have said with a thousand other ones!!! and it drives me crazy whenever i think about it for more than 5 seconds at a time!!! thank u for coming to my ted talk!!

[crowsofdarkness]

Moment Of Weakness: Chapter Twenty

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Content Warnings: language, 18 + smut, angst, fluff, affair, cheating, violence, kidnapping, faking a pregnancy.

Summary: Reader is the assistant to New York's most feared mob boss, James Buchanan Barnes. He had the picture-perfect life: status in the mob, friends, and beautiful wife. So why can't he keep his mind and eyes off of reader?

Authors Note: I just wanted to remind everyone who reads this, there are heavy moments of cheating/having an affair in this story. You might not agree with the actions of "reader" or Bucky but it does pertain to the storyline. If anyone is interested, tags are open for this! Just send me a message or comment!

Tags: @cjand10 @generalmoonpolice @sapphirebarnes @baw1066 @nameless-ken @minami97

The tension in the small office was too thick, it enclosed around my throat and I was unable to breath at times while feeling his stare bore into my back. His heated gaze would follow my every movement as I walked around the open area, doing my best to work and keep myself from locking eyes with him. 

It worked; for the first few hours. 

Today was the first day back at work after wallowing in my own self pity for the last week and a half. Needless to say, from the second I stepped foot inside, it had been so awkward to be around Bucky. He kept to himself in his office, the door opened half way, but when he saw me arrive at my desk he didn’t bother to talk to me. He knew that it would only result in one thing. 

Either me smacking him or yelling at him. 

He was right. 

If it wasn’t for Steve, I probably would still be home in my bed and staining my pillow cases with more tears than arguably necessary. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

I didn’t bother to look over my shoulder in the doorway, knowing who was leaning against it with their arms crossed over his chest. 

“How’d you get in, Steve?” I breathed. 

“The spare key you keep hidden under the mat,” he informed. “You do know you’ve been gone for the last week.” 

“Nine days,” I corrected while pulling the covers closer to my chin. “You can let yourself out the same way.” 

Steve sighed and was soon kneeling in front of me, his gentle fingers brushing the hair out of my face. My eyes fluttered shut at the feeling and for a moment, I forgot about the pain I had been in. 

“He’s not worth all of this, Y/N.” Steve motioned to the current state I was in. 

Unwashed hair, sunken eyes, tear stained cheeks, and my body buried underneath my piles of blankets on my bed. 

“I made a fool of myself,” I let out a shaky breath. 

Steve’s large hand began rubbing comforting circles on my back. “You do foolish things when you’re in love.” 

My eyes widened. “I’m not-.” 

He didn’t bother to let me finish, explaining how I was not in love with Bucky Barnes. 

“Why else would you consistently go back to him, Y/N? After all the hurt he put you through?” 

I parted my lips, wracking my brain to come up with a good answer, but they seized shut when nothing came out. 

As much as I didn't want to admit, Steve was right. 

I was in love with Bucky Barnes. 

My hand cupped his cheek. “I let the best guy go, huh?” 

A chaste kiss was placed on the inside of my palm before Steve yanked the blankets off of me. The cold air from my open window danced around the barness of my legs and I whined, wanting to feel the warmth yet again. 

“You have twenty minutes to get ready, otherwise I’m dragging you into work kicking and screaming.” 

Thankfully Steve didn’t have to drag me into work, I came willingly. Much to the dismay of the screaming voice in my mind that this was a bad idea. 

Some people may think that a job isn’t worth seeing your ex lover almost every day but when there’s one person there that makes it bearable, you don’t want to leave them. 

I glanced up towards the office across from my desk where Steve was lounging on the couch, sketch book in his lap. He looked away for a moment, eyes catching mine, and gave me a small smile. My heart dropped, knowing that with my own stupidity I had let him go, ruining any chances with him. 

“Idiot,” I muttered to myself. 

The front door opened and bounding inside with a bright smile was Natasha as her soft voice called out a hello to everyone.

I turned my back and continued working on the schedule for today. 

“Oh, Y/N! Did you hear the news?” 

I cursed under my breath before spinning around in my chair and gave her a nod. “I did. Congratulations.” 

“It’s so exciting! I’m still so early so it’s a bit scary telling everyone but I can’t help it.” She sat in the chair across from my desk, making herself at home. 

My lips pulled in a tight line. “Yeah, I bet.” 

“Bucky is going to be such a great dad. He’s so excited that he’s been looking up baby names on google.” 

Ignoring the stinging pain in my heart, I did my best to make sure she noticed that I had a lot of work to do by pointing to it. 

“I really should get back to work. Bucky left a list of things for me to catch up on that I missed.” 

Natasha waved me off. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if us girls talked for a few minutes.” 

I sighed, defeated. “Sure.” 

“So.”

She started to ramble on some more about how excited she was that she and Bucky were finally starting a family. According to her, they have been wanting kids for years but Bucky never felt that they were in a good spot in the marriage to start. 

“What made him change his mind?” I forced myself to ask, secretly wanting to know. 

Natasha tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “If I’m being honest, it was an accident. He’s always been safe, using a condom every time, but that night he couldn't contain himself. Practically threw himself at me.” 

I swallowed thickly, the pain becoming too much for my fragile heart to handle Although, there still was something else I needed to know. 

“How far along are you?” 

“Only six weeks so we still have a long way to go,” she smiled. 

I curled a brow with confusion. “Bucky told me you’re a few months along?.” 

Natasha’s face twitched as her shoulders dropped, but she quickly recovered by waving her hand around. “Oh, same thing. Is he busy?” 

She was quick to change the subject which only made the alarm bells in my mind ring even louder about this whole situation. 

Suddenly, Bucky’s presence was felt behind me which caused Natasha to quickly jump to her feet and wrap her arms around him. As they shared a kiss, I forced myself to look away like I did so many times before. 

“I thought I heard your voice,” Bucky said. 

“I was in the neighborhood and thought to have lunch with you.”

Bucky shifted on his feet. “Why today? You haven’t shown up in the office since last week.” 

This caught my attention and I peeked an ear to listen. 

“So what do you say, lunch?” Natash asked yet again in hopes of avoiding another conversation. 

“Y/N?” 

My eyes landed on Bucky, hearing my name fall from his lips made my heart skip a beat. 

“Hm?”

He wrapped an arm around Natasha’s shoulder. “How does my schedule look this afternoon?” 

I gave him a small smile. “You’re actually booked up. Mr. Stark is coming in to sign the contract for your new project together and Dr. Banner is at two o'clock so he can present his idea to you.” 

Bucky’s eyes lingered on my lips before he nodded, giving Natasha his attention yet again. “Rain check?” 

“You can’t spare even ten minutes?” She pouted. 

He shook his head while placing a kiss on top of her head, this causing me to look away again. 

“I’ll make it up to you with dinner.” 

They conversed for a few more minutes before Natasha reluctantly left, leaving Bucky remaining in his previous spot behind me. I kept my eyes trained hard on the screen in front of me, not bothering to give him an ounce of attention. 

“Y/N,” he breathed my name. 

I continued to ignore him even though my heart began to hammer hard in my chest, especially when he knelt down next to me, his hand resting on my knee. 

“Can you please talk to me?” 

The wheels of my chair scraped against the floor as I pushed myself away from him. 

“I have a lot of work to do,” I simply stated. 

He let out a low breath before standing to his feet and began following me as I walked into the breakroom, the door shutting behind us. 

“I missed you.” 

I spun on my heels. “Dont.” 

His eyes were filled with so much angst and sorrow that I almost fell for it. 

Almost. 

“You were gone over a week, I want to make sure you’re okay,” Bucky said. 

I shook my head with a set gaze. “You don’t get the right to ask me how I’m doing or say that you miss me when it’s your fucking fault that I’m like this.” 

“Y/N.” 

“Leave me alone, Bucky. Please. You need to focus on your family now, stop worrying about me,” I said while tears pricked in my eyes. 

“All I can think about is you. I miss you.” Bucky leaned against the counter in the room. 

I held firm, only giving him a nod. “Well it seems like it’s a one sided feeling because I don’t miss you.” 

His eyes narrowed. “Bullshit.” 

The inside of my cheek caught between my teeth, knowing that my lie was detected right away. 

“I’m not going to keep doing this dance with you, Bucky,” I ran a hand through my hair. “I’m only here to do my job then go home at the end of the day; alone. Or with someone, depending on how I’m feeling.” 

He pushed himself off of the counter, a shaky breath escaping him as his ips pulled in a tight, angry line. 

“You’re already seeing someone?” 

I scoffed, eyes drilling into him deep. “If I was, it’s not your fucking business.” 

“Is it Steve?” 

The way his voice cracked at the name echoed in my ears but I continued to stand tall in front of him, not letting him see how bad I had been hurting. 

“No, I lost that chance because I chose you. And look where that got me,” I admitted while looking at my feet. “Fuck this, I’m going back to work.”

We stared at each other for a few beats before I walked past him, ripping my arm out of his grasp as he reached for me. 

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Hey, you.

If you're American, and you've been having a hard week egg for.. reasons -

I have something to say to the Americans.

Just remember.

They aren't immortal.

Nobility has lied for centuries. They told us they were placed on the throne by God - the rule of the king being the will of the Creator.

The French proved them wrong.

You are young. They are human. They will one day die.

And on the day they die - regardless of if hell is real or not - there will be a movement when they are laying on that death bed. They will feel their live slipping from their grasp.

And they will feel the fear.

The possiblity of eternal consequence.

They will fear what waiting for them on the other side. The one journey they cannot buy their way out of. The moment the bell tolls for thee.

And honestly, the thought brings me peace.

Trumo and Elon AREN'T demons - though it's so easy to think of them as so.

They are evil humans. And all humans die. Trump? He's 80. He's over three times my age. He's older than my grandmother. He eats McDonald's and Diet Coke like no one's business. Knock on wood I'm betting he's got ten years TOPS.

('I'll be the last president' - my ass. If you take a bad fall it's game over dude. You won't release your health records cause you're most likely due for a heart attack soon mfer. Your minions don't like your candy ass Junior enough to have him as a successor and Baron doesn't fucking care so realistically speaking whats your game plan here? 🤨 Elon's kids have too many daddy issues to take your place. You can't even use a sword. Napoleon would slay you where you fucking stand you pansy)

So if you've been struggling this week, I just wanted to remind you.

Black people won our civil rights without the support from the media, without online social networks, without the support from 90% of white people.

70 years ago, around when my grandma was born - I could not sit next a white person in school. If a white man was walking towards me on the street, I'd have to step into the gutter and let him pass. At risk of being actually killed by the whole town if not.

Nowadays in my city I could tell a white guy my age 'Fuck you!!' to your face. Middle finger and all. And they're not gonna put me in jail for it. No stranger is gonna jump in. The whole town isn't gonna care. If anything, people will just record.

That all happened in ONE generation.

So no matter what Trump does.

Remember. He's not immortal. He will die like we all do.

You're young. You'll have the rest of your life to reverse everything he's done.

That's the thing about personality cults. Once the personality is removed, the whole thing falls apart. And the personality in question is once again - an 80 year old who eats Big Macs and wears suits two sizes too large. A man who would probably get genuinely upset if you asked him to recite his 8 times tables.

If Trump dies in the next 10-20 years, before he turns 100, I'll be 35-45. a.k.a - my generation will be entering the older majority. Our generation will be the eldest and the most influencial. What then?

The Trumpettes won't have their leader for their personality cult so they'll have no one - not even their republican parents - to tell them who to think.

We'll be older, wiser. We'll teach our kids the signs. We'll tell them stories what to do, and invest pubic funds to conserve the history of our fight - to never be erased.

If you're scared this week, I understand.

But remember. We've fought harder with less - and we still won.

So keep your head up. Doom is the tool of the enemy. You keep going, you keep living, and you survive to tear down their legacy while the bastard spins in his grave.

Keep going. Keep your angry hearts and clenched fists. Hold on tight to your love and rage. And keep going.

That's what Hobie would want. That's what a Hobie is there to teach us.

Hope this helped someone, anyone, even if it was a little bit. If this helps you get through the day, or the next hour, with the smallest bit of hope - that's all I want.

Thanks for reading this far! Here's Hobie :)

--------------------------------------------------

And bonus:

Ayo I just gotta add this in here -

Word to god, and when I say this I say this with my whole chest -

I'd be DAMNED before I ever say I'm scared of Donald Trump.

First of all, I'm black and poor. There's been a white man wanting me dead since the moment I left my Mama's hoohaa and guess what, I'm still here. That mfer ain't special. Call me when the klansmen come not when done mfers with tiki torches cosplay call of duty.

Cause none of them coming to the hood..tf.. Try that shit in neighborhood with Bloods and Crips.. Y'all not the only ones with automatics and lots of money. It's just the black people with money and automatics keep shit quiet. If these racist mfers had ppl breaking in they house the way Kendrick had mfers breaking in Drake's with choppers they'd be terrified as fuuuckkk

And secondly there's 4chan fellas out there that probably legit jack off to the idea of a black queer trans person crying in fear. And those mfers can kiss my black ass and kick rocks cause I wake up every day smiling. So -

Anyway I'm done lol

I just had to get this out of my system lol. OKAY BYE FOR REAL

[moonlit-ivy-writes]

You sat in your car with the engine idling, music blasting at full volume. Tears burned in your eyes as you fought desperately to hold them back. Your grip on the steering wheel was so tight your knuckles had turned white. The thought of driving off the edge of the cliff played over and over in your mind. Few things in life cut deeper than heartbreak. You were parked in the spot where you and Saturo used to escape from the world. You once joked that couples in the '50s used to come here to make out. It probably wasn’t the most ideal comment to make on your first date, but eventually, this became the place where the two of you came to do just that. The cliff offered a breathtaking view of the city below. From up here, the chaos of the bustling streets seemed to dissolve into a peaceful, almost surreal stillness. This place was your sanctuary, a retreat from the fast-paced world. You and Toru would spend hours here, sitting on the hood of his car, gazing at the stars and losing yourselves in endless conversations. You’d debate theories, sometimes playfully arguing about whether aliens truly existed.

“Okay, get this: the Loch Ness Monster is jumping through dimensions,” you said, chewing on a piece of licorice. Your feet were propped up on the dash, and Satoru sat in the driver’s seat, turned toward you with a puzzled look on his face.

“Y/N…”

“What?” you replied, tossing a piece of candy into his lap.

“You’re cute,” he said with a laugh.

“Okay, but just humor me. Buy into parallel universes for one second.”

“Fine, I’ll bite,” Gojo said, leaning back into his seat and popping a piece of your candy into his mouth. He looked at you, clearly intrigued, as you launched into your theory.

“So, ancient aliens believed that the Egyptians used certain minerals or elements to build things because of the energy they gave off or whatever,” you began, gesturing animatedly. “Well, that lake is full of quartz. So if you believe that energy can be harnessed enough to create, like, a black hole or a portal into another dimension, maybe that’s what’s happening. Maybe the Loch Ness Monster is real, but it’s only there when it’s slipping in and out between its world and ours. Think of that lake as, like, the Bermuda Triangle.”

Gojo couldn’t hide his amusement as he watched you dive deeper into your theory, your voice growing more animated and your hands gesturing wildly. He leaned his head against the seat, grinning as your nose scrunched up in excitement.

“I could see that,” he said with a chuckle. But his attention wasn’t on your theory anymore—it was on you. The way your eyes lit up, the way your laugh bubbled out of you as you got caught up in your own thoughts. In that moment, time seemed to stop for him. All he could do was smile and wonder how someone could make the universe feel so small and perfect with just a laugh.

You sniffled out of your flashback, back to reality. You were alone in the car. Alone with two bottles of liquor in your passenger seat. You grabbed one bottle and twisted the cap, downing the cheap vodka with no chaser. You pitied yourself. How could you let a person get to you like this? Falling for him had been inevitable, like running down a steep hill and suddenly stumbling over your steps, tumbling to the ground, and continuing to roll.

You stared at the broken handle on the passenger side, the memory fueling a fire in your heart.

“Not so fast, Satoru,” you pleaded as he ripped the buttons on your jean jacket, trying to rid you of as many layers as he could.

“I can’t help it. I need you right now,” he said, kissing you roughly, his urgency undeniable as he tried to deflower you in the passenger seat. You sat on top of him, too tall, having to lean over so your head didn’t hit the ceiling.

“I'm feeling claustrophobic,” you complained, your foot getting smashed between the seat and the car door as you hastily searched for the door handle. Satoru tried to help you, but the two of you looked like you were playing a game of Twister. Tangled up in each other, he grabbed the handle, pulling it—and breaking it off.

“Satoru!” you yelled, trying to keep a straight face. “my car!”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’ll fix it, I swear!” he stammered, trying to fit the lever back onto the hinge, but it was no use. You both fumbled to escape through the driver’s door. You scraped your knee on the ground, landing with a thud.

“Maybe trying to go at it in the front seat wasn’t the best idea,” you said, standing up and giving your boyfriend a stern look. Then you noticed he was still holding the door handle in his hand.

“Well, where were we?” he asked with a grin, tossing the handle into the front seat and shutting the car door. Backing you up against it, he leaned down, his lips meeting yours. You stumbled onto your tiptoes, trying to meet him halfway. He deepened the kiss, his hands sliding under your shirt.

“Hey, hey, hey,” you nudged him back. “We can’t just—”

“Look around, Y/N,” he said, gesturing to the vast expanse of woods and rock. “No one’s going to catch us.”

You couldn’t deny the thrill of the idea. Smiling, you grabbed his face and pulled him in for another kiss. “Let’s hope we don’t get caught,” you said with a giggle.

With that, he lifted you onto the hood of your car. His hands gripped your thighs, sliding your skirt up over his fingers. You felt his fingertips trace your panty line, tugging at the fabric. Helping him, you shimmied out of the unwanted clothing, pulling at his shirt, eager to feel his skin.

The two of you became entangled once more, this time more comfortably. Satoru peppered sweet kisses along your shoulder, the warmth of his lips making your skin tingle. You moaned softly as he bit gently at your skin, his teeth grazing just enough to leave a delicious ache.

“Baby, you smell so good,” he murmured, inhaling your perfume as he nuzzled his face into your chest. His hands explored your body with a reverence that made your breath hitch, his fingertips tracing every curve as if memorizing them. Slowly, his kisses trailed down your torso, leaving a path of warmth and longing in their wake until he reached your inner thigh.

You felt a flicker of nervousness about being so exposed to the open air. The vast sky stretched endlessly above you, the cool breeze a stark contrast to the heat building between you. But as Satoru’s lips pressed against your skin, the thought quickly vanished. Every soft, teasing kiss he placed made your heart race, his tongue grazing your delicate folds with an unrelenting hunger that sent shivers down your spine.

He devoured you completely, barely coming up for air, his hands holding your hips firmly in place as your fingers tangled in his hair. The sound of his name tumbling from your lips, a melody of pleasure and need that only spurred him on. You felt the tension in your body coil tighter and tighter, until finally, it snapped, sending waves of ecstasy washing over you as you called out his name in pure bliss. "Satoru-I," you catch your breath and sigh deeply as your climax dissipates. The only words you can string together being, "That felt amazing." 

As your breathing slowed and your senses returned, Satoru looked up at you with a soft smile, his lips glistening as he leaned forward to press a kiss against your trembling thigh. “You’re amazing,” he murmured, his voice thick with adoration, making your heart flutter all over again. 

The distant sound of an engine snapped you out of your thoughts, pulling you back to the harsh reality of the present. For a moment, you blinked, disoriented by the shift from the warmth of your memories to the cold solitude of your car. Surprised, you noticed headlights approaching the cliffside. Ducking down in your seat, you peeked cautiously over the steering wheel. A car pulled up to the next ledge, its lights flicking off as the cabin was bathed in dim interior light. Squinting, you tried to make out the driver’s identity. This place had always been a hidden refuge, known to only a select few. Your heart dropped as the cabin lights revealed the driver. The white hair was unmistakable—Satoru.

You watched as he got out of the driver’s seat, seemingly unaware of your presence. He walked around to the passenger side, opening the door for someone else. A beautiful girl stepped out, her laughter echoing faintly in the night air.

“Wow, Satoru, this view is incredible!” she said, her voice carrying effortlessly across the stillness.

Your heart ached as you watched them together, their closeness like a distant echo of what you once had. Tears blurred your vision, warm streaks against the cool air creeping in through the window. This spot, your haven, now felt like a cruel reminder of everything you’d lost. The way he looked at her—like she was the only person in the world—cut deeper than you thought possible. You gripped the steering wheel, your knuckles whitening, trying to hold yourself together. How could he bring her here? To the place where your laughter once mingled with his, where he promised forever under the stars? It felt like those promises had been swept away by the same wind that now carried her laughter, leaving behind only an unbearable silence.

As he leaned against his car, his arm wrapped around her shoulders, something caught his eye. His gaze shifted, narrowing slightly as he focused on your car parked a short distance away. You froze, holding your breath, willing yourself to disappear. For a moment, it seemed like he recognized the familiar outline of your vehicle. His expression faltered, just briefly, before he turned back to the girl, brushing it off like a fleeting thought.

But the damage was done. He had seen it. You knew he had. And the realization sat heavy in your chest. He looked back once more, his eyes narrowing as if piecing together a half-forgotten puzzle. For a moment, the girl’s voice seemed to fade entirely, his focus anchored to the car that sat just yards away. You slumped lower in your seat, every nerve on edge as you silently pleaded for him to look away.

Then, his expression shifted—a flicker of recognition, brief but undeniable. The corners of his mouth twitched, caught somewhere between hesitation and resolve. His hand dropped from the girl’s shoulder as his gaze lingered on your car, the weight of it almost unbearable. You could feel your heart pounding against your ribs, your breath shallow and uneven as if the air itself had thickened.

Finally, he turned back to her, forcing a smile as if shaking off the moment. But as they moved closer to the edge, laughing softly under the stars, you couldn’t shake the feeling that he had known. That somewhere deep down, he had recognized not just the car but the ghost of what you once shared. And now, that unspoken acknowledgment left you drowning, the silence between you heavier than any words could ever be.

[fangdokja]

Heeeyyyyy it's me again lolll, sooooo have you checked out love and deep space (otome game with fighting monsters)? If not then you should, there are many hot characters there, i was rereading you paternal privileges and thought that "oh this is so zayne(one of the characters from love and deep space)" cuz if he's going to have a twisted side this really matches him well

Yeahhh, heyyyy. Prepare for unstructured Fang Dokja rambling.

Glad to see that you're also enjoying and reading the other stories. Paternal Privilege vibed more in Ao3 than in Tumblr, but I personally liked it as well. One of my first sex stories in general. Got lots of practice in it. And, in Ao3, people loved the ending haha. Thanks for sharing your input on it. It's appreciated :))

OK. I knew I'd get this question one day. And, I know some of you are Love and Deepspace (LaDs) fans (and also K-pop fans, especially you guys, I don't know why you're following me ahahhaha, but it's welcomed. Sorry, don't know much about K-pop like I hardly know DC).

OK SO! Of course I know this game! I played the game it was inspired by, Mr. Love Queen's Choice for more than 3 years! DADDYYYY VICTORRRR. I still have my account, whahhaha. Yes. This is bringing back memories.

And in Love and Deepspace's early release, like official first day, I was there! So, yes, I've played it.

Playstyle and graphics were cool. And, as a competitive gamer in general, ofc it was right up my alley. A bit clunky at first release, needed some adjustments, but generally good. It was way better in terms of graphics than Mr. Love, especially the interface and menus.

Though, I'd say what turned me off is I related more to the MC of Mr. Love than LaDs. Didn't really vibe with the MC of LaDs, a bit too emotional and outspoken for my tastes. Felt ENFJ (sorry, can't relate AT ALL to ENFJ's and ESFJ's especially) not gonna lie hahhahha. But, it's been so long since I played, so sorry if I get details wrong. Anyways...

I was just not vibing with the MC, and low-key plot as well. But, then again, maybe I expected too much. It usually happens when I do. I get so excited than it falls short of my expectations, and then I'm like ehh. So I just low key turn off my brain. It's also to prevent myself from spoiling myself. You have no idea how many times I've unwittingly spoiled myself in ANY fandom! It's genuinely unreal. So, it's like I have to stop thinking so I don't ruin those "huzzah" or "woahhh" moments for myself as a reader or audience.

Ok, back to the topic.

Why am I not making yandere content on it? Simple.

Because of this RULE:

Some characters remind of me of real life people too much, like for example, most “soft” and “green flag characters”. Reminds me of my friend’s boyfriend. And that person is gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. It’s fricking weird. But in general, most reasons I don’t write certain characters is because it reminds me too much of people I know in real life.

My friend and I don't share stories. AT ALL. That includes any fandom, manga, anime, manhwa, video games, etc. There are some exceptions, but usually we have separate fandoms.

So, when I introduced this game to share with my friend. Majority of the characters, from the graphics to their behavior, fit my friend's boyfriend more. Reminded her of him more.

Didn't really find anyone that reminded me of my husband (only 4 main guys before). I do play games, or do anything really to spend time with him. And even in things like this, I do this so I can analyze my husband, think about him and brainstorm, etc. Just basically husband simping for me.

So, in conclusion, probably not gonna talk a lot about Love and Deepspace. And besides, I don't think the MC is like me anyway, so it's fine. I just have to not look at ANY fanart, 'cause man IT IS EVERYWHERE. I have to LITERALLY avoid it like the plague so I don't tempt myself.

Uh... I have a gaming addiction. HAHHAHAHA

Sorry, but strict rules being obeyed here as well in the friendship. We DO NOT SHARE STORIES. End of story. Hope you guys understand, though.

Yes, we're weird.

WARNING: The information below is just extra husband simping. Proceed with caution.

God, I am waiting for official international release of this game ESPECIALLY (when it comes to otome games):

My LORD, I will waiitttttt. If it's possible to release, Your will be done!! haha

As you can tell, I'm weak to muscles ahahahahahahhahahaha. Why? I love my husband so much, he's so handsome. I am weak.

OSBORN I JUST KNOW IT'S OSBORN aghhhh. especially him. But seriously. huuu well, my husband doesn't like talking about himself with anyone else besides me, so just have to use "analogies" like characters lollll.

Though, none can compare to my husband, of course. He's leagues above anyone else huuuuuuu. I love him so much.

I also told you guys. I relate to these memes. VERY. VERY. VERY MUCH.

You have no idea.

WAHAHHAHAH.

*exposes self*

But, I just love my husband so much. So, so, so much.

Yandere! Stepfather & Stepdaughter

Novella 1 : Paternal Privilege

He’s your family, but he doesn’t act like it.

🔞Pleasure in every strike, pain in every kiss.

🔞In the end, love is both their salvation and their damnation.

🔞His love is suffocating, but she’s forgotten how to breathe without it.

🔞Love shouldn’t feel like drowning, but he’s the only one who can save her.

She fell, but not by accident. He made sure of it.

[fuck-customers]

I am actually pretty glad that the company that has treated me horribly and fucked me over and over is (most likely) being shut down. There's a 50/50 chance that the company will be bought out by Buyer A who will keep the stores running and revamp the company (or so we're told) or be bought out by Buyer B who will liquidate. (I don't want to give too much info at risk of exposing myself, but I think this is probably enough to figure out what I'm talking about. It's almost definitely obvious to ither employees of Company) I feel almost equally about either option, but I kinda want Buyer B because of some immature part of me that's going "haha yeah fuck you, that's what you get for being such a garbage company that treats your employees (and customers) like shit. You're a waste of retail space" but also I recognize that the satisfaction will last for like 5 minutes, max, before I'm like "well now I'm fucked and out of a job, so..."

Idk where I'm going with this. It's just kind of a rambly vent. I absolutely hate job hunting (as does everyone) and this is actually my first "real" job, as my previous job was a short-term seasonal gig, so I'm very nervous on a personal level because I do not feel confident that I have enough work experience nor enough job hunting experience to be able to get another job. Especially since it is after the holidays but before the summer season. Aka: the dead zone of hiring times. Hopefully I'll be able to fall back on filing for unemployment if I have to.

But I'm trying to focus on all of the fucked up moments at this job as a kind of admittedly bizarre inspiration tactic. Kind of like "hey maybe my next job won't have management that makes fun of me for my disability" and "maybe I won't have a manager that yells at me and treats me like I'm stupid in front of customers and causes me to cry in the bathroom and then the other manager who wasn't even there that day piles on the bullying by essentially saying (I'm paraphrasing) that the first manager is justified in yelling at me because I am stupid"

Idk honestly I'm the type that could perform really, really well if I am just shown how to do my tasks and then left alone to do them. That's it. I don't need to be micromanaged. I know how to and will ask for help if needed. But unfortunately, I do not have qualifications, so I most likely will end up at another retail job, which is just the same thing in a different packaging.

I am sorry you may be losing your job and I really hope you find a better one that treats you right.

But for the life of me I can't figure out what company is and what company A & B are. would you be willing to send an anon ask with that and I promise I won't publish it. But if not I understand.

-Rodney

[dragqueenstarscream]

How would either tfp autobots or tfo react to their homan $h-ing?

-germ anon

let's go with tfp because there's more to work with there.

optimus - ever seen that comic where superman talks the suicidal woman down from jumping? that's how i imagine optimus would be. as much as it pains him to see his human self harming, he tells them that he won't stop them, but if they have any hope that things will get better, then he'll be there for them. it usually ends with him holding his human while they break down in his arms. at least they're safe now. that's what matters to him.

ratchet - ratchet's been down that road before. it may be different for cybertronians, but he recognizes what they're doing. he goes full protective grandpa, visibly angry, taking away anything that his human might use to harm themself. he seems upset with them, but he's worried. once he calms down. he opens up to them, explaining that he's been down that path, that he might not know what his human is going through, but he can guess how they feel. it ends with him extending an offer to talk whenever his human feels the urge rise again; he just doesn't want to see someone else go through what he has. no one deserves that.

bumblebee - goes the distraction route. his human can't hurt themself if they're doing something else, right? he goes out of his way to invite them to do things with him. video games? cartoons? going for a drive? whatever they like best, he'll offer to do it with them. sometimes, people just need someone to be there for them, and he's more than willing to be that person.

bulkhead - the big sweetie that he is, he instantly gets nervous when he sees what his human's doing. once he realizes what's happening, he pulls them closer and asks them what's wrong. if his human doesn't wanna say, he's content to just be there for them. if they wanna talk, he hears them out and tries to reason with them. either way, he's surprisingly gentle with them, considering his size, and explains that things may hurt, but hey, they're not on their own in this. they don't have to go it alone. he can help them out, he's tough enough to help them shoulder their burdens.

arcee - she's not that great at comforting people - she has a lot of her own struggles that make it difficult - but that won't stop her from trying. she stays calm, helping them set aside whatever they're using to hurt themself and offering to talk things over with her human over a long ride. maybe her human talks about what's going on. maybe they don't, and they spend the whole ride trying to clear their head. either way, arcee makes it clear that she can be a rock for them if they need it. she knows what it's like to hurt, and she doesn't want her human to feel like they have to handle it all on their own.

cliffjumper - bless his spark, this bot's an idiot. considering how he's always cracking jokes and trying to lighten the mood, that's where he goes when he notices his human so upset. the moment it hits him that this is serious, he starts to freak out internally. once he's more level headed, he offers to talk through things with them over some food. after he comes back from grabbing you something he knows they like, it turns into him listening as his human explains everything. he's definitely not the best at anything to do with emotions. that won't stop him from trying, through, and he's determined to be there for his person.

wheeljack - he's probably one of the worst at handling emotions, let's be real. most of his therapy involves fighting vehicons and blowing things up. that being said, he offers to take his human for a ride up in the jackhammer to help them get their mind off of things. he'll ask them questions about what drove them to this point, and for once, he doesn't have anything witty or snarky to say. he's there to offer his advice and to let you know that they've got people who are willing to help them. and hey, if no one else is there, he'll be there if they need him.

smokescreen - he's pretty clueless about what's happening. he's never seen anyone back on cybertron do this, so he doesn't know what to do when he sees his human self harming. he starts asking a lot of questions at first - what's going on? what are you doing? why are you doing this? eventually, he realizes that this might not be the right thing to do once he sees his human getting more upset. he gathers that maybe they just need someone to be there for them. he's not the brightest with emotions, but point him in the right direction, and he'll learn quickly how to help his human for the future.

[bestalbertcamuslover]

Consumerism

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶

✯ pairing: Sebastian Vettel x Pop Star! Reader ✯

✯ content warnings: none ✯

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶

She was accustomed to the city—the endless shopping, the fleeting dopamine rush that came from spending copious amounts of money on items she’d probably use only once. Her bank account could handle it; as a very famous pop star, it was almost expected of her.

During one of Seb’s visits to her apartment—now more frequent as their relationship deepened—he couldn’t help but notice the abundance of PR packages and shopping bags cluttering the entrance of her penthouse.

He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms as he leaned casually against the doorframe. “So, uh… are you starting a boutique, or is this just your personal collection?” he teased, a playful smirk tugging at his lips.

She rolled her eyes, setting her handbag down on the marble countertop. “Funny,” she said, walking past him toward the kitchen. “It’s not that much.”

Sebastian followed her, a mock look of disbelief on his face. “Not that much? Love, there’s enough here to open a department store. Do you even know what’s in half of those boxes?”

She turned to face him, her expression half-amused, half-defensive. “Of course I do! Well… most of it,” she admitted, glancing back at the pile. “It’s just PR stuff and a little shopping.”

Sebastian crossed his arms, leaning casually against the doorframe, his lips quirking into a teasing smile as he gestured toward the pile of shopping bags near the entrance. “A little shopping?” he repeated, his tone dripping with amused disbelief. “Are you starting a boutique or something?”

She rolled her eyes, placing a hand on her hip. “Nope. Nope, don’t even start. You are not going to give me one of your ‘do you really need all of this?’ talks today, Mr. Vettel.”

He chuckled, stepping closer, his blue eyes sparkling with that infuriating mix of charm and earnestness that always made her listen, even when she didn’t want to. “I mean, I’m just saying… do you even remember what’s in half of these bags? Or is it just about the dopamine rush of hitting ‘buy now’?”

She huffed, feigning indignation. “Okay, first of all, rude. And second of all, yes, I do remember. Mostly.” She faltered for a moment, glancing at the pile. “Probably.”

“Mm-hmm,” he said, his grin widening. “You know, this isn’t the first time you’ve said that. Didn’t we have the same conversation about that fancy juicer you bought last month? The one that’s still in the box?”

She shot him a playful glare. “You know, I liked you a lot better before you started being right all the time.”

“Oh, come on,” he said, stepping even closer, his teasing tone softening. “You’ve already let me talk you out of half a dozen things. What’s one more?”

She groaned, but there was no real fight in it, because he had already changed her mind on so much. His integrity—his annoying, unwavering integrity—had a way of making her question the habits she once thought were harmless. And, in a way, it was infuriating how much happier and more grounded she felt because of him.

“That’s mansplaining,” she joked, acting offended, though the smile tugging at her lips betrayed her.

“Sure, it is,” he said with sarcasm, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. “But you know I’m right. And admit it—you kind of like that about me.”

She gave a dramatic sigh. “Fine. Maybe. But don’t push your luck.”

He laughed, leaning in to kiss her forehead. “Deal. I’ll take that as a win. Now, how about we move some of this stuff out of the hallway before it becomes a fire hazard?”

She couldn’t help but laugh, shaking her head as she nudged him playfully. “You’re unbearable.”

“Bur you still keep me around,” he said with a wink, grabbing one of the bags to help her.

“Yeah,” she said softly, watching him with a small, affectionate smile. “I really do.”

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶

✯ authors note: English is not my first language, and I hope you liked it <3